16 - Talk Story with Deborah Marvin

16 - Talk Story with Deborah Marvin

Aloha!

Today on Dream Into It podcast, I bring you some behind-the-scenes of my talk story session with Deborah Marvin from our private Facebook community. I’m so honored and blessed to be able to sit down with her and I believe you’re going to enjoy this conversation.

We talk about motherhood, friendship, love, relationships, having body confidence, and so much more! Ladies, my biggest takeaway from this episode is to find a man who thinks you’re smoking hot! I promise this is going to be a fun conversation and you’re going to love this woman as much as I do!

These are the types of conversations I want to share with our community, Empowered By Fused Hawaii. So thank you, Deb, for inspiring me and so many women in our community to continue on no matter our age, our background or life experiences and for helping us realize that life can be full of fun.

Enjoy!

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WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE. AS A BONUS, WE HAVE A TRANSCRIPTION OF THE EPISODE FOR YOU BELOW.
 

Intro: Aloha and welcome to the Dream Into It Podcast. I'm Roxelle Cho coming to you from my hometown, Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. After building a multiple seven-figure swimwear brand from a dream starting in my garage, I became curious into learning how my thoughts created the reality around me.

This is the Dream Into it Podcast where we will look into how wonderful, powerful, inspired, motivated women like myself are able to rewrite the stories of their lives and step into their power. I am so excited to be able to join you on your journey of stepping into your potential and creating the life of your dreams. Mahalo for being here today. 

Come on dreamers, let's dream into it!

[00:01:12] I'm here to have a conversation with a member in our community, in our Empowered by Fused Hawaii private Facebook group, which we invite you to join. But I just want to let you know, this conversation station meant a lot to me because. Deb, she's been in our group for so long. And I've seen her post. I've seen her just full of life mentality.

[00:01:36] Yeah. And a liveliness, if that's even a word, I don't even know. No, but that's how she makes me feel. And when I saw her in the group, I'm like, I need to sit down and talk to this woman. She is goals for me, the woman has lived multiple lives, many times over and has had so many experiences. We didn't even know where to start with her journey and her experience.

[00:01:56] And I'm so, so honored and blessed to be able to sit down and talk to her and gain her wisdom. And 65 years of her life that she's been here and she's living it up, I must say. So here's a little behind the scenes of Deb and I had our talk sessions here on. A hundred podcasts. So if this doesn't get you to want to dream into it and live life a little fuller, I don't know what will, so here you are.

[00:02:24] Let's get into it. Well, I wanted to thank you again for the modeling gig. Oh boy. That was fun. That looks so much fun. So I couldn't be there. The women that I met, I mean, honestly, I have kept in pretty close contact with a couple of them because they've had some life difficulties that I've also gone through.

[00:02:47] And. Seeing it from somebody who's come out from the other side and survived, I think has been good for a few of them. But yeah, I mean, we're trading bathing suits where I'm mailing off bathing suits. Alicia, we're just like in it. And I just tell my team, like we're just running with what's fun and interesting.

[00:03:11] And like the whole part of the group, which is pretty cool. It's like, I started at actually it, so you notice it's not connected to our business page at all. It was just wanting to meet the women, buying the suits and. Of course like friendships, a whole nother topic we can unwrap. It was like, how do we start a community where all the drama that women have a lot of times around friendship, the cattiness, how do we start a community?

[00:03:39] Cause I really do think it can exist. That we're all of that just goes away and we just show up in our true selves and we accept all these things and that's just a vision and a dream. But I do believe in like putting it out there and like it. Coming about coming as we take the steps necessary. And so it's amazing seeing that and like that the thing in Oregon that we did was just, we were, we were just nervous wrecks because even one of my friends that morning, she's like, okay, You're taking an Uber from the airport somewhere where you don't know where you're going.

[00:04:14] You don't know the people that you're doing. Are you sure this is in a scam? And I'm like, well, you know, I've got a good run. It's, you know, if I don't come back, I've had a good run. And even the gal, Brandy who lived very close she's like, yeah, even the last minute my mom was like, are you sure that you should do this?

[00:04:31] So. It, it turned out everything turned out perfectly random camp spot. Yeah. Yeah, no, it was, Jessica was great. She's a trip. She is a trip. She had good times. So she actually has a necklace for you that I gave the gifted, the gals that were on that were there. It's women's hands. She moved. That's why too. So she said she was going to see you sometime or something anyway.

[00:05:01] All right. But anyway, it means, it means that a woman holds her power in her own hands. And it's a woman's hands that are actually the necklace. It's like it's around the vulva, the way the woman has this. So I've given them. I was a doula for years and I've given them to all the moms that I birth babies with.

[00:05:19] I've given them to girls for graduation gifts. So this was just, they were a perfect group of women to give it to. I mean, it was just really, wow. That was really fun. Oh, wow. Well, the first one was such a disaster that the next three were home birth. Wasn't a disaster. It was a great experience of hospitals.

[00:05:44] It was immature and natural. She was six weeks early and she came out with, you know, when you think about it and I've been, I haven't been at any. Infant demises, thankfully, but man, when you see a baby born in, it is a miracle that, that most of them are normal. I mean, when you think of all the things could go wrong.

[00:06:12] It's pretty amazing. That was my first experience. So with my first born, it was 24, you know, hospital environment where it's so much fear is set in and you're, I'm breached, I'm premature, all these things I'm giving birth and a natural birth at that, that was the first experience where I had a, like a mind body connection with myself and how strong I could be.

[00:06:38] And so going through that and actually like seeing my power was probably what I'd say started this whole journey. It's especially when you can do it without any kind of medication. I mean, I remember young women, well, what did you have? Well, when I had my kids, we didn't get offered anything and I, and I live, you know, I survive, but it's like, it's your birthday?

[00:07:00] You can do whatever you want to do, but the women that were the strongest and just got powered right through, it was just like, wow. So I don't, I was reading your story and I, there was so many things that you wanted. It was just like, I babble value to our group. And like, if I were just sitting here with you, like they have like parts that stood out to me of definitely like the parts on friendship, just because that's my own personal journey with friendship.

[00:07:29] I feel is super valuable as a woman, you know, at times, difficult to navigate the, all of the emotions that come with friendship. Are there things that stood out to me in your story too, was of course having to deal with death, you've had divorces. You've had marriages. Well, I, yeah, my neighbor do, were you ever familiar with an author called Lavelle Spencer?

[00:07:55] She used to write like Gothic romances. I lived next door to her and she said, one time, I think I should use some of your information for a book. And I'm like, yeah, no, let's, let's not, but yeah, I've had some well, and what I didn't say in the, in my story was is that my husband who died was an executive at three M company, but he was also a hell's angel.

[00:08:20] So you should have seen his Memorial. Holy moly. We had people in suits. We had bikers. It was, it was pretty amazing. Lived a full life. I have, I, I, you know, and when he died, I think I learned that you have to live every day. Cause there's no guarantees. You know, again, you know, I've seen death from different perspectives, but you know, there's so many ways of Dealey and grieving through my, my mother just, she lost her husband four years ago and she just lost her best friend as well.

[00:08:52] So when you, when you posted in the group, I felt that just because I, I like watch her process this as well, it's still processing it's fresh and I actually. When I read your, your thing on friendship, I kind of no want to unpack that story because I mean, I do want to maybe commemorate her in some way then this beautiful way, but would you feel open to sharing that story of friendship with her?

[00:09:19] That touched me. And was it like a heavy topic, so value while at the same desk? Well, the hardest part now too, is of course we weren't able to have any kind of service or anything. So now we've all kind of gone our own ways. And in a couple of months, when he's able to have a service for her, you know, then it will just bring it all back again.

[00:09:43] But we have a lot of girlfriends, we have a lot of support and so it's been really good. I kind of, I'd love to hear how, I mean, if it's hard, I understand, but I would love to hear, I read your story of how you met a little bit about that. I was reading, what is this sport? Oh, curling. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have it in why it's a sport on ice where you throw 40 pound rocks down the ice.

[00:10:11] It originated in Scotland.

[00:10:16] United States won the gold medal. Never really heard of it or anything. So it was like, that was new. And I seen you had friends meet through that. Was she one of them? Yeah. Yeah, she was, she was one of my best friends. Yep. So in fact, I curled on her team for many years after my husband died, there was some world curling in Scotland.

[00:10:39] So I paid for her and another girlfriend to go. And the three of us went and spent a week in Scotland and watched curling and. Had a lot of shenanigans. It was very fun. Yeah. They've been, they've been my friends for many years, so yeah. It's been great girls in Scotland and men and killed

[00:11:02] another movie.

[00:11:07] Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, and this topic to a friendship. And how would you. Speaking to somebody at my age, like I speak to my daughters even about friendship. There's so many, there's so many things sold to us as little girls, as far as best friends forever. How do you, how, what would be your advice about navigating now having like this friendship, like, and you've last, you've been all the way through a life of this.

[00:11:37] What was it that made it stand out as like. A best friend, because as, as a little girl, I'm still in this world myself and like where we're surrounded by friends. Well, and every everybody's life changes. I mean, I still have friends that I went to junior high with that we still try to get together at least once a year.

[00:11:56] And there's six of us that still try to get together what I've told my daughter and what I tried to instill in her when she joined the Navy. As I said, and even before that, I said some of these women that you meet in this. Part of your life in your twenties will be the women that will be your friends for life.

[00:12:15] Remember that? I said, these are some long lasting friendships and she's got 17 years in the Navy and there was a girl. She went to bootcamp with that. They're still best of friends and my daughter's best, best friends since first grade is still her best friend back home. And she's kinda my adopted daughter cause her mom has gone.

[00:12:33] So her and her sister are like my adopted girls that. I spend more time with than my own daughter cause she's deployed or she's, you know, she's off somewhere. So yeah, but I think, but I think that, and I've been guilty of this as women, we can all be catty. And that's what I love about this empowered site, because it does not matter if you're a hundred pounds or 400 pounds.

[00:12:58] Everybody has good things to say. I don't know if you ever saw there was a Lizzo had posted something. In a bathing suit and tick tack took it down and she goes, you're putting all these pictures of skinny girls up here. Why not? Me? And boy did the hate peep that come out. So I, I rarely post on that kind of stuff.

[00:13:16] And I just went, how does what she wears affect any of you, if you don't like how she looks scroll on by? And somebody said, well, the same could be said for you. And I said, point taken you're right. I could have just drawn scroll down by, but I choose to be kind. I said, you know, what, what she wears is no reflection on you.

[00:13:36] And I think my George has really helped me with that because he thinks I'm smoking hot

[00:13:45] photos. I was like,

[00:13:51] your goal is for me seeing your last vacation, was it with George? Where were you, where were you on the Lanai and the balcony? All that was in Billy's. Yeah, that was Billy's. Oh, that might've been, that would have been Bora Bora. We had some, we had some really nice vacations before all of this. In fact, our, our two week vacation in Mexico was cut short by a week because of the Coronavirus.

[00:14:20] So I'm actually quarantining. For 14 days at George's because I was back home. And when I got here last Friday, the state of Nevada is asking that people quarantine for 14 days. I can do that. I mean, it's kind of nice actually. So, so I'm going to, well, I'm going to note that as a typical conversation is to find a guy who thinks you're smoking hot.

[00:14:44] That's what, so that's a game you need to recap. So ladies, whoever's listening to this, uh, find a guy, a life partner who believes you are smoking hot. And that's the best thing was if I wouldn't have gone up and talked to him and in Cabo San Lucas, I never would have met him. So I was brave enough to go up and talk to him.

[00:15:08] And the rest is history. So we've, we've had a pretty good, this is my third summer here and it's been, it's been pretty good. So I have my little condo in Minnesota so I can get away when I. When we've had the shits of each other, been married for 15 years now. Right. And it's like, even, even with that, I'm like some days were just like you, you're still annoying me.

[00:15:36] Love in Sunday. So, and it's really different at this age as well. Cause he doesn't hear very well and I have to repeat myself all the time, but it's great. It's he, he, he will be my, my, the last level of my life. So I said to him the other day, I said, I wish I'd met you as soon as, so I could love you longer

[00:16:05] kinds of value bombs for me. So we've got, we've covered topics on friendship. On finding that life partner or the like covering love. What are your, just your takeaways? How I'm going to ask, how old are you? I'll be 65 in October. Okay. So I value all of this. I feel like it's our community, like, you know, they're there from a range of ages, so we've got, so this is all really good advice.

[00:16:36] And that's why we want to open up these conversations so that every woman who's listening of any age can have some sort of either mentor through this, or even an experience that they can relate to. And feel good about themselves. Yeah. I know. I could have been everybody's mom photo shoot, you know, but it was just like I said to, I think it was Cynthia.

[00:16:58] She's just a trip. I love her and she's just like, How old would you say you were? And I said, I'll be 65. And she's like, no flipping way. And I'm like, I still think I'm 30. So that's a good thing, but it's not because I'm confident age. I can't wait some ed and I can only live to almost 101, she just passed in November.

[00:17:19] So she, and she was pretty darn good up until the last six months. I don't think I want to live that long, but man, she had a good darn life. I just want to see my mentality then. Cause I think I would have matured to like 25 year old, man.

[00:17:37] I need a haircut. In, so yeah, I, and then so love of friendship. What would be something that you'd like to share with our community? Like even regarding the circumstance right now? Well, I'm from, I live in the twin cities, so. It's been really, really happy because I have many friends that live very close to where the murder took place and just live streets away from the loading and things.

[00:18:03] So it was really hard for me to jump on the plane and come back here. Knowing that I had friends back there that were struggling, but, you know, I used my, my stimulus check and I donated to all kinds of programs back home. And hopefully some of the businesses will be able to start up again. It's just tragic all around.

[00:18:25] It's. Yeah, that's heavy. I mean like conversations too is like being able to kind of check in with our this morning. We had someone from London on the, yes, I watched that was asking me and I know there's so much like heaviness, you know what? Just being able to somewhat shine a light, even as our brand.

[00:18:49] Not just, we're all positivity. No, we're very much like things are difficult. And how do we all come together? And, and how do we, I mean, I'm at a point in my life where I've gifted. Almost as many as I bought, just because I have friends that are like, I'm not wearing a bikini. I'm like, shut up. You are. And you're going to look good in it.

[00:19:13] And like her daughter, I gave, I gave a top to my friend and then her daughters, and I think they ordered bottoms. My daughter's best friend is a teeny tiny little thing. So I ordered some extra small bottoms. I hope they'll fit it. You need to make the sizes smaller too, for the tweens and the teenagers that are like wanting to wear them.

[00:19:32] So we're going to work on that. Yeah. Well, I know like, you know, I kinda hate when I see people saying, make dresses makes this, make that, and I'm back here thinking no

[00:19:44] were like, let's give away like a ton of these bottoms, right? For like five bucks. And our everybody's like, well, ship ours first. I'm like, aye, bottoms are faster to make. It's a top are. I mean, I know like where we're shipping them, but we've got tons and tons on order. It's just, but in the meantime, I still want to give them away.

[00:20:07] Well, it's crazy. When I started in this group last year, my first piece was the pink was white. Pineapples. And then I bought the pilot up hub, uh, avocado type office. Well, then I realized I was buying the wrong sizes. So those I either traded or gave away and I just. I just want to tell my friends, don't worry so much about what everybody else thinks.

[00:20:31] I had one, my friends who she's a tall stately woman. I mean, she's got a rock and body, but she's the most insecure woman I've met. And she said to me, man, you sure have a lot of confidence. And I went, Oh sweetie, trust me. I'm not confident, but honestly, I don't give a shit what other people think/ I mean, it's like, their life doesn't affect me.

[00:20:51] So if they don't like the way I look, that's their deal. So, yeah, I know I've gotten more confident in my body. Like after having kids after like going through all the weight changes and fluctuations, and I think at my heaviest, I was the most confident. And then there's parts of me. That's like, dude, I'm so tired.

[00:21:12] I don't care

[00:21:17] getting to the beach. I honestly don't even know what I'm wearing half the time. Or you said you wear the tops and then a tank top over the top. That's awesome. I have clothes on check. Well, especially during the quarantine, I mean, there's been a lot of no pants days. That's for sure. It was, I mean, it was great meeting you. I'd love to meet a lot of you women in person, but, uh, yeah.

[00:21:48] This was the thing we wanted to put in the calendar for. Awesome. Awesome. Well, like the gals that we did the photoshoot, we're talking about getting together somewhere for like a long weekend or something somewhere. And it was it. Are you turning? Or is it your birthday coming up or 65th? I want to go to Hawaii for me, that was my plan is for my 65th birthday.

[00:22:11] It'll be next spring. I'm guessing I'll be picking people's brains. I have, I've been only once and that was to get on my daughter's on the USS Ronald Reagan. And I sailed with her from Honolulu to San Diego, but I haven't really seen much of anything. So, and Honolulu is different. So like I live on the big Island.

[00:22:30] It's more. Rural a little more. I feel like the authentic, which is what I would like. Yeah. But we're, we're cool with land, by a pool and land by the beach. So once all of this dies down, I know Jessica. Coming here in July too, so, okay. So that maybe that's when she said, she'd see you, because I had sent her a note and said, did you ever give rock, sell the necklace I gave you?

[00:22:56] Oh no. And then we moved and then, you know, so I spent a little chaotic, so, Oh, well I'll remind her too. I'll tell him. Yeah. Remember. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, this has been great. Thank you so much. Thank you for all the value you bring to our community and myself, especially too. I've learned a lot watching you ladies.

[00:23:20] Well, it's been, what was it? 10,000 members last year, I think less than 10,000 when I joined. So yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Now we can go to every state and party. That's true. That's true. I know there's a gal in sparks, which is just on the other side of Reno because I'm her friend on Facebook now. She goes, you live in Reno and part of the time.

[00:23:40] Yes. Biker community. Yeah. Yeah. I got rid of that. Yeah, no, I got rid of that. All right, girl. Have a good weekend. All right. Thank you. Thank you so much. Alright, bye. Bye Deb. All I want to say is thank you. Thank you for that awesome conversation. Thank you for allowing me into yours. More than full life and for inspiring us to continue no matter what her age, no matter our background, no matter our life experience, knowing that it can be full of fun and takeaways.

[00:24:24] One takeaway, like we've mentioned. In the podcast in that interview that I will always take away. So thank you, Dan. And ladies, if you were listing the one takeaway that item was a fine man who thinks you are smoking hot. So Deb, thank you for allowing us to share in your story and in your journey. And I hope that the women listening to this and our listeners are able to.

[00:24:51] To feel your energy because I sure do seeing your posts in the group. I see you. I hear you. I love the life that you've led and the value that you brought to our communities. Thank you. Thank you. And enjoy dreamers. Enjoy continuing on this journey with me. And we have so many more women to bring and shine the light on from our community.

[00:25:16] So if you're not there. I really would recommend joining our private Facebook community empowered by fuse way. That's where these wonderful women that you are hearing and learning and growing from. That's where that's, where I'm finding them. So if you want to be a part of this community, come on in and join.

[00:25:33] We are always working with new positive. Energy. Anything that's been to bring more joy, light spreading as far as we can. We welcome you. So I'll see you there.

Outro: Mahalo for tuning in! 

I hope you enjoyed that episode. Keep on dreaming Into It Dreamers. The possibilities are infinite. 

If you love the show, share it with a friend and subscribe. I'll catch you in the next episode. 

Feel free to dive into our show notes at www.fusehawaii.com, and you can also follow me on Instagram at @roxellecho.

I'd love to hear from you. Comment on my recent post. What did you learn? Tell me about your takeaways. 

Aloha.

 


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