9 - Finding Stillness in Chaos

9 - Finding Stillness in Chaos

I wanted to come onto the mic today to share with you my process of how I eliminate anxiety from the day-to-day. In the past, I thought that there was no way out of stress and overwhelm but in the past year, I have acquired tools that I’m able to rely on every time I feel overwhelmed and I want to share them with you.

Anxiety, depression, overwhelm - I know these are not topics we normally talk about because they are not pretty, but I want to normalize them, to show that life is not always glamorous and that’s okay. So if you’re going through these emotions, I want you to know that you are not alone and I hope that bringing my voice to this subject will give you hope and coping strategies that can help you get through a hard day.

I’m curious to know about your own strategies also, so feel free to leave a comment below or hang out with me on social media. 

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Aloha and welcome to the Dream Into it Podcast. I'm Roxelle Cho coming to you from my hometown, Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. After building a multiple seven figure swimwear  brand from a dream starting in my garage, I became curious into learning how my thoughts created the reality around me.

This is the Dream Into it Podcast where  we will look into how powerful inspired, motivated women like myself are able to rewrite the stories of their lives and step into their power. I am so excited to be able to join you on your journey of stepping into your potential and creating the life of your dreams. Mahalo for being here today, let's dream into it!


Aloha dreamers and welcome to the Dream Into it Podcast. This is episode number nine. Can you believe it? We're already here, episode number nine. This is moving along so quickly, and it's so much fun. It's been such a fun journey. Just sharing with you what's on my mind every day. It's not scripted. I just come to the microphone as I feel inspired and ready to share with you the information that I feel may bring value to your life.


Today you know, it's a topic that's close to my heart. It's something that I just wanted to share with you today because I feel like it could bring some sort of benefit as it has to my life as well. It's a subject on anxiety, on meditation, on all those things surrounding, where we go through and especially here and now being on these lockdowns or quarantines, whatever state you're in.


We've been home a lot more than usual. We've been out of our element a little bit. And for me, I'm actually in my element. I do stay home a lot majority of the time but out of my element, meaning now I have all of my family in the house with me. I have people from out of town who quarantine with us in our house, my sister, and my nephew. So the house is full, and it's such a blessing.


We're gonna look back at this time with such great memories, watching the kids play together, and all the fun stuff. And just the time that my sister and I get to spend with my mom, the way we have. So every situation we can find the silver linings and change our perspective as much as possible to keep us going every day.


And so, you know, a little bit along the lines of today's episode, what inspired it was, I got up this morning, and it's a Sunday when I'm recording this, and tomorrow is my Monday, and my Mondays are usually a little bit crazier than most days. You know, the week begins, and our work week starts, and all the stuff that is piling up, and that's when we start digging into that.


This morning I woke up, and I have that overwhelming feeling.. I had a feeling of anxiety. What I would call anxiety in the past -  you know in the past, I had high anxiety, and I didn't know quite, I didn't have tools like I do today of how to cope, and deal with those situations. I would go through really dark times of depression.


There were days where I just didn't think that I could handle it anymore. And I know just reading through comments and my audience here as well, I see a lot of you who go through the same thing. Who also share on our pages in our private groups -  what works for you. And I just wanted to come to the microphone today and share what my actual process was to eliminate anxiety and overwhelm from my day- to-day life. 


Like this is like an hour after the fact of like doing my process and then coming here in this - not overwhelmed state. So it's like a before and after, and how I was feeling beforehand, and how I'm feeling after hand, and the steps that it took to get me here. But this is something that, you know, it happens often.


A lot of times, we just look at social media, or the things that we see right in the media, and how people portray themselves nowadays. You see just the highlight reel through a lot of people's Instagram accounts, or Facebook. But you know, as for me, I do like to document both the good and bad (ugly parts of life, of business, of being a mom, a wife) of the things just to normalize a normal life.


And so for all of you out there who are listening to this episode, if you have these moments where you feel overwhelmed, where you feel like it's an open loop in your head, and your brain just can't stop thinking. I know I do that, feel like my brain's almost racing. It's overstimulated.  Just know that there is another side to that, and you can get through it.


In the past, I used to think that, you know, there was no way out. When I was in that state, I would think that the only thing that I could do was continue thinking my way out of the problem, and which would just continuously loop in my head, more overwhelmed, more stress, more anxiety. And I would try to like to use my head to think my way out of this.


And it just never worked for me. Something new to me probably for the past year now I've been focused on mindfulness, breathing techniques, meditation, prayer, whatever it is that you call this way of practice. Those are the things that helped me.

And growing up, I grew up a little more religious, where I learned prayer. And at that time, even having this conversation here about meditation, it might be something that triggers some who the board meditation might not be something that you use normally. I know growing up that was not a recommended practice because I was religious.


And so  these breathing formalities or meditations or mantras, and all of these things like I'm realizing now like I still did it back then, but I called it prayer. And so whatever the words, the language that you use to describe your way of focusing your mind. Bringing your mind back to a calm state, breathing, whatever words you use to describe that, like own that, and it's okay.


And don't feel guilty for whatever way you practice breathing, and relaxation, and bringing your mind back to a calm state. Because at the end of the day, it's you that has to live that life and has to navigate the best way for you, and your children. So for my day-to-day, when I notice myself coming in that overwhelmed state and that open loop in my head, I know for myself, I need to breathe. 


I need to slow down my mind. I need to sit in a quiet corner or open space in my yard - whatever that may look like. So in a real-life situation today, I sat outside on my patio, my lanai (here in Hawaii, we call it lanai), on a little just beanbag chair, and I just felt the wind blowing through my hair, and felt the sun on my skin. I listened to the breeze. I looked at the sky.


All of those things we underestimate  the value of sun on our skin, of the natural elements of wind. Sometimes when I sit out there and I hear the rain, and you smell the smells, the raindrops falling outside of your house, like these are all free things that are available to us if we choose to utilize them. 


So I encourage all of you to get outdoors as much as possible when you're feeling in this overwhelmed state.  When I can, I put my feet in the sand or the grass outside, and just breathe in that fresh air, and I cannot even find the words to tell you, how much better I feel after just five minutes of breathing, focusing, slowing down, calming my brain, my mind down. 


What I realized through this process of learning is that there is no correct way to do this. In the beginning, when I heard of meditation and mindfulness, I always thought that I had to be some sort of guru. I had to go to some sort of class to figure out how to do yoga, how to stretch, how to meditate, how to breathe, how to sit a certain way, what mantras that I need to say, all these things, but there is no right way.


For me, I learned that we have different phases in our lives that we go through. And currently, you know, I have a busier schedule. I have to work between my kids, my job, my husband, all these things that I have in my life.


Some days my meditation practice might be five minutes. It might be 10 minutes on a good day, might be 30 minutes or more. So whatever it is that works into your routine, don't feel guilty about it. Just commit. Just commit to whether it's one-minute to start. I know at the beginning I was anxious, and I'm wiggling, and I'm thinking, and I'm fidgeting, and I'm uncomfortable sitting still for one minute, but when you do that one minute, also take the time to give yourself credit for that.


Give yourself grace on days where you only have one minute, yet you've committed to the one-minute for yourself - you took a breath, you meditated, and you focused on that breath. It's super important, and it's super beneficial, and the results compounded over a month, a year, 10 years. You're gonna look back, and be amazed at the person that you've grown into.


I think, the second thing that I had to realize too, is all of these distractions in a sense, I had to find time to carve out this quiet time plus the quiet space. So what's important for me is creating like these little comfortable spaces around my house. So if you walk around my house, you'd see meditation pillows like in the corner of my room.


In the corner of my living room, I usually have some essential oils burning. I have my favorite crystals in the corner. I think they're beautiful. And also there's the whole energy healing surrounding that, if that's something that you'd also like to add to your practice. 


Another thing that I love to have on hand is the sound healing bowls. I love  just meditating to sound. Sometimes I'll play certain frequencies in the background. I will play maybe nature sounds if I'm indoors. These are all just options, but know that there's never a right or wrong way for you to relax. That's funny, right? Like there are so many rules around relaxing and getting comfortable, but it just doesn't sound very relaxing to me.


So that's something I had to figure out is like, "Wait a minute. I can breathe and relax in my way. That's pretty cool!". So these are just little things that as I've grown through my meditation practice that I'd like to share with you. I'd love to hear in the comments and, your feedback too, on what your meditation practice looks like.


I'd love to hear comments on that. If you can put it on my Instagram or even our Facebook group, come and join us in that community as well, empowered by Fused Hawaii. We've got a bunch of women in there, and always sharing really helpful advice, and just a big group of girlfriends and they're hanging out, and having fun.


So you're always invited there as well. Another thing I love too is at first I was like, "Do I sit down? Do I write down? Do I put my hands like this? Do I have to sit like this in a certain way and cross my legs?" Truth is, be comfortable in meditation and life. Like what is it that you want? On some days I lie down, and some days I sit up, some days I lay in a lounge chair, whatever it is, where you can just relax, do that. That's the rule. Do that. Be comfortable and do what suits your mood and your body at the time. 


Another thing is though you were focusing your mind, I thought at the beginning of that, or even now, sometimes I'm trying to find stillness, calmness  () ,peace, and then my brain starts going off into like thinking mode again. I'm thinking about things and I would try to stop my thinking because I'm like, "Well when you're meditating, you're finding stillness, you're supposed to stop thinking". 

But then I realized when I was stopping my thinking purposely that was thinking and controlling something that I couldn't maybe just allow it to flow. And allow it to calm down in its own time. And I realized that controlling my thinking was still a form of control and stillness.


And so that was a beautiful experience to realize that I could allow my mind to just be inflow. And naturally, I now find that it has come to a calm state, or know how to get to a calm state on its own, because I'm not controlling it or leading the way or paving the path, but instead it figured it out on its own because I allowed it to find its way.


So I encourage all of you when your brain starts thinking, or you have five minutes, and your brain starts listing to do's, and all of this - just be still. Let it do what it needs to do and it will. Your mind and your body is a beautiful thing that we underestimate. So if we allow it to operate at its fullest potential, it will.


I just wanted to kind of bring this to the conversation because I just finished a 20-minute session this morning of my meditation and breathing. I meditated this morning on gratitude and grace and all these beautiful things that I want to manifest in my life. 


I don't usually talk about this openly because I know there's a lot of controversial opinions about mindfulness meditation. And again, you know, I come from a background that this was not encouraged. And so now I'm a little finding my way in my life and this space and clearing the way for my children as well, and owning who I am and what I do and sharing it with all of you because I do think that it provided me so much value after my 20-minute practice this morning. 


I was just emotional actually because it brought me back to memories of how I used to feel and behave when I would get overwhelmed when I get anxiety when I would be depressed. And having memories and those thoughts and the way I used to treat myself and others, makes me a little bit sad to know that I didn't have the tool.


I never want to live with regret cause I know I have to go through that to be here now, sharing this information with you with so much passion and ease. But again, as much as I can, I would love to share these stories with you as well because if possible, if that's something that you could add to your day, your life, that would make it just a little bit better.


It would have been something I would have loved to have known back then when I was a little more short tempered, a little more irritable. These were things that would overwhelm me then. Now if that came up, probably it wouldn't phase me at all. So know this, that we are going through this together. You know, we really do. 


We don't talk about these subjects much because it's not a fun subject, right? It's not a glamorous thing. But I do want to bring my voice to this because it's something that I've been through, I know how hard it is to go through those days, and you feel alone.


And if I'm just this voice on the other end of a microphone that helps you get through a hard day, I'm thankful for that. So thank you for taking the time to listen to me today. Thank you for receiving my messages, through this podcast, and being on the other end because I appreciate the time that you took to be here.


So Aloha and I hope that was enjoyable for you. Let me know, come onto my Instagram. Come into our group that is empowered by fusedhawaii.com. I love getting to know everyone a little bit better. Let me know what you want to hear in the future. Upcoming episodes of this Dream Into it Podcast, and continue dreaming.


Dreamers,  we're all doing this together and I'm excited to see where we're going to be at the end of this journey. Aloha.


Mahalo for tuning in! I hope you enjoyed that episode. Keep on dreaming Into It Dreamers. The possibilities are infinite. If you love the show, share it with a friend and subscribe. I'll catch you in the next episode. Feel free to dive into our show notes at www.fusehawaii.com and you can follow me on Instagram as well @roxellecho.

I'd love to hear from you. Comment on my recent post. What did you learn? Tell me your takeaways. 


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