🌱Big Girl, Baby Steps...
Today was so familiar, but not in a comforting way. I became a storyteller in my mind to justify my insecurities. My disquieting thoughts rattling on trying to convince me that I was unworthy of the blessings that surround me daily.
In an instant, I stripped myself of the credit due for my accomplishments. Years of hard work and goal setting buried beneath the rubble that I tirelessly shovel on top of myself to feel nice and cozy. "It's nice down here," I say to myself as I scribble the words Home Sweet Home across my forehead.
I've been here before though. it's nothing new. This time around I brought a flashlight to help maneuver my surroundings a bit better. Shine the light on all the painful steps I need to take to get out of this place smoothly. That bright light somehow manages to bring awareness to all the little critters hiding beneath the surface. You may know them by the names guilt, fear, and shame. It's funny how powerless they seem once you shine some awareness in their direction.
Home is where the heart is right. Funny thing is I forgot I left this home ten years ago yet I keep coming back to feel some sort of comfort. I now realize it's a false comfort. I'm growing up slowly, things are starting to make a bit more sense.
All you really need is a couple good people in your corner rooting for you. And, Thankfully I've got more than a couple. I just remind myself to keep moving forward. The only time I look back is to see how for I've come.
PERFECTLY. IMPERFECT. ALWAYS